The Domestic Report

[SlasherX]

This is a report posted every 3 months to update the Import Community on what is going on with Domestic owners and their issues regarding their automobiles, home, family, and personal drug usage. If you would like to join The Domestic Report, please send an email to Jim Billy Bob at Alabama_Man@AOL.com.


Tuesday, November 13, 2001:

My Mustang has blown its 4th Transmission in 2 weeks today while I was pulling it into the trailor park lot. I think when I hit one of our old refrigerators in teh yard, it done broke the shift linkage or somethin'.

The rear suspension also decided to stop suspendin' the other day and now my cars ass just drags on down teh road collectin' mud and stuff...maybe if i catch a critter in there or somethin' we can have Thanksgiving early this year.

Welp! that's about it I done reckon from o'er yonder down by the pond..er...what's new with y'Ron?

[Blk00SS]

Well david.. Betsy{our cow} decided she wasn't gonna sleep in the barn lastnight and plopped her ass on the hood of the SS. Gosh darnit.. There's cow **** all over the hood and no hose to clean it off.

Today beatrice{sp?} was gunna cut my mullet but she got too busy watching jerry springer.. i'm tellin ya... were gonna be on there one of these days. I recken told her to get off the sofa but she wouldn't... so i sprayed her with perfume and she went runnin.. you know how she hates to smell good.

Ohh well... Time to milk the cows...

[SlasherX]

Man, thats just assinine! Why do you wanan go an cut that done fine mullet of hair you got goin on dere? only way i could reckon ya in the trailor park when we was racin'! well good buddy...just rememebrebrebr...aint nothin better than some drinkin beers den bangin gears! only porblem i done have is when the cans get stuck under the gas pedal an i cant get up to 60. i reckon another engine will fix dat problem..damn things keep blowin out on me..by god.

[Karim]

:talkative this post is truly teh funey!

Karim

[Maelfyn]

This is more teh funney than all of OT combined http://www.plaudersmilies.de/happy/mdrmed.gif

[static]

Hehehehehe.... you guys are nuts.:cool:

[nocarbon]

Nivember 14, 201
YEEE HAAW My Yosemitie Sam mugard flap thingies jist came in. The Fedex truck took a couple good shots from Billie-Ray's double barrel before makin it up the driveway, so he left em in the yard before skeedattlin. I decided to put them on the 86 IROC becuase I rekon they match the Confederate flag in the window. hehe, people are really gonna think twice before "messin with Texas" now!

UPDATE: They won't fit on the IROC cause of the Bungee cords and duct tape holdin the back bumper on. I rekon I'll try these bad boys on Jake (88 Stang) now.

UPDATE 2: Well, Jake took quite a likin to the flaps. but when I was driving down I-90, my trick knee started actin up and hit the goll durn steering wheel again. I swerved and hit Jim Billy-Johns prize cattle right in the rear quarter. Looks me and my kin is eating good again.

UPDATE 3: Jim Billy-John gave me a ring on the telecorded thing and asked where his cow wuz. After argunin with him fer awhile I decided to trade him strait up for the 88 Stang (Jake) cause it's wrecked up pretty good.

UPDATE 4: Jim Billy-John really likes the wrecked Stang. He turned it into another Bird feeder in his front yard. Y'all would never believe how them tweety birds take a likin to Yosemite Sam

(hehe living in Michigan I see this quite a bit :) I should really write for them)

[SlasherX]

Hell yar man! PLAY SOME SKYNYRD!!