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· Registered
282 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid",
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them
anything. It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind didn't see
your sign".

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and
there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and
says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or
twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and
this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope.
Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way
to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks
good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us
if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I
don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't
resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just
swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe,
then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I
could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you
know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I
couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his
basic problem. I thought sure he was clear of
needing a sign...until he asked " your truck stuck?"
I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then
back to him and said "No I'm delivering' a bridge... here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said
"Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago.
Here's your sign."

· Registered
282 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
lines not to use;

1. Excuse me, do u have a Band-Aid because i scraped my knee when i fell
for u.

2. Your tag says Made in USA, but i could have sworn u were made in Heaven.

3. Do u believe in love at first sight or should i walk past u again.

4. I hope u have a library card because i`m checking u out.

5. If u were a burger at McDonald`s, i`d call u McBeautiful.

6. Is ur dad a terrorist? Cause baby u`re da bomb!

7. I lost my teddy bear. Will u sleep with me?

8. Hey lady, those are some nice clothes, can i talk u out of them?

9. How do u like ur eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

10. My love for u is like diarrhea, I just can`t hold it in.

11. Ur parents must be retarded, because u r special.

12. Want to play Pearl Harbor?...It`s a game where i lay back while u blow
the hell out of me.

13. I`m not actually this tall. I`m sitting on my wallet.

14. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

15. Your body`s name must be Visa, because it`s everywhere I want to be.

16. Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I`ll be your Burger King, you treat me
right, and I`ll do it your way.

17. Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

18. I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been

19. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can`t take them off you.

20. Your daddy must have been a baker, `cause you`ve got a nice set of buns.
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